Waiting tables
Word Count 536: "Only 2 more hours until it's over" the waiter said with a sigh and a sour look on his face. It had been a long day working in the restaurant, and his legs had started to ache from standing, and waiting tables all day. This was his typical day, working all day for a paycheck that was hardly above minimum wage after tips. That wasn't what was bothering him at the moment however. What was bothering him was the man who just slugged his sixth beer and was starting to act hostile. He was slamming his fists and laughing uncontrollably while his wife did nothing to stop him. The waiter tried to zone them out by thinking about his dreams that he gave up when he dropped out of college to help his father. He had so much potential, "but that's life sometimes," the waiter thought as he cleaned what seemed to be his thousandth set of dishes off of the red speckled table...It was his sixth beer of the night and he was really starting to feel the alcohol's effects. This nice buzz was enough to carry him through the rest of the night. He had just decided to meet his new girlfriend here after work and get a real good meal in him. The body shop had an extremely busy day today, and Bob was tired from working on all the cars he had to fix up today. His legs felt like rubber, and his arms were weak. He was having a good time, letting off some steam, but the waiter cleaning the table behind him was starting to get under his skin. He kept giving Bob looks and had an annoyed look on his face. Bob couldn't see why this man was looking at him like that. He might be talking a bit loud, but that's what he came here to do. A Friday night here was as loud as a primetime boxing match sitting ringside. The waiter looking at him like this may have been more of a problem, but he was a paying customer, so he didn't care about what this waiter thought of him. What he cared about was right in front of him, which was his beer, his sandwich, and his new girlfriend...She began devouring the pastrami sandwich that the waiter had placed in front of her. She would have been less aggressive, but she had not eaten all day, and seeing how Bob was downing beers like there was no tomorrow, he did not care. She saw the waiter giving Bob a look, but she had come to expect that. He was a loud man, and didn't care about anybody knowing it. However, something about that made him even more attractive to her. He was a man, he would stand up to someone if they said something he didn't like, and it made her feel protected. She really didn't know where this night was going, but as long as Bob was with her, it would be good enough. Then she would have to wake up early to start her shift at a local diner, and maybe she would look at her customers with that condescending eye.
Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteOh, my gosh, so much chaos in this painting. I love that you picked it. It's a crazy painting, but you've really done a good job of zeroing in on one of the central figures here--the waiter, the only guy who is clearly not really enjoying himself. You also start to develop the conflict almost immediately--this guy who has had too much to drink and might be itching for a fight. Then, we pick up a third perspective, the girlfriend. It's really interesting how you have moved among the three figures so we get all of their points of view--I really like this idea of giving multiple points of view. Throughout, your sentences are simple and direct, and we get a peek too into their day to day lives, beyond this moment in the diner. An enjoyable piece to read.